Thank goodness for the second Monday of September! It's that very special day on the calendar which will never lose its "feel-good factor".

Welcome to Mad Monday everybody! That one day of the year when your rugby league heroes are officially above the law!

As National Ambassador for Mad Monday, I've taken it upon myself to map out the day ahead. Where your team will drink up, nude up and, later in the day, spew up.

South Sydney

The Rabbitohs are meeting mid-morning at the George Hotel, where they'll tap the kegs, dim the lights and sit and enjoy a Russell Crowe movie marathon, put on by the man himself. Russell will be on hand to field questions from the boys about the plots, the characters or any crazy behind-the-scenes shenanigans.

Then it's off to every jockey's favourite watering hole, the Doncaster Hotel. Here the Bunnies will meet up with former premier Morris Iemma, who will be enjoying his very own Mad Monday. To finish the night, Mr Iemma and the Rabbits will join the Bra Boys and rip in at the Maroubra Seals till dawn. Thanks for the memories Morris - your shout!

Bulldogs

I've taken over the Dogs' Mad Monday celebrations from Andrew Ryan after he failed miserably in the past. When we asked Ryan to organise some topless staff at the Ritz Hurstville last year, the last thing we expected to see were five male American sailors in ass-less leather pants, pouring schooners and trying to crack on to the boys all afternoon.

This year I'll ensure the boys get the day they deserve. We'll kick off at Homebush Bay Brewery, then head to the Bankstown Sports Club, before visiting my old mate Steve Bowden at the Ritz. Then, to finish, we'll go to Northies at Cronulla, and then go across the road for a midnight skinny dip at Elouera beach. Fans are more than welcome to join us for the swim.

Panthers

I've organised for the Penrith boys to have a nude champagne breakfast at the Tourmaline Hotel.

Frankie Pritchard has organised some expensive French champagne from a mate of his in Toulon.

From there the boys head to the Rooty Hill RSL for some lunch and a hit on the pokies. Clothing optional.

And to finish it off, to a western suburbs icon, the Pioneer Tavern, where the Panthers will enjoy free drinks at the Mark Geyer bar. A section of the hotel dedicated to Big MG's proud record of 1000 fights and no wins at the place!

Parramatta

Very emotional day as the Eels farewell one of the game's great BEER BOARS, Mark "Piggy" Riddell. And to celebrate, the Eels will start at the Albion Hotel, the very pub where Piggy and Tim Smith filled up on a dozen schooners before heading to training one afternoon.

Then the boys are going to meet up with club CEO Denis Fitzgerald at the Mean Fiddler hotel, where Fitzy will remind the players of the club's Mad Monday Rules.

RULE 1: Eating is cheating.

RULE 2: Sleeping is cheating.

RULE 3: No one home before dawn.

And then of course the boys will head to the disco at PJ Gallaghers. One of the west's great "boiler" bars. Yee haw!

Tigers

Defensive coach and respected "beer pig" Royce Simmons has organised a game of pub golf for the Tigers. Pub golf is simple. At each hotel you are given one hour to drink. If you drink six schooners, it's a par. If you drink only five, it's a bogey. Seven's a birdie and eight's an eagle etc.

Simmons has outlined eight pubs for the course, which include the Cat And Fiddle, The Bridge, The Welcome Hotel and The White Bay Hotel, which burned down last Friday night, but they'll tap a keg, dodge the flames and drink there anyway.

The favourite again this year is Chris Heighington, who was last year's champion, scoring a respectable 30 under the card.

To finish the night, the Tigers will drag themselves to the Sapphire Suite where Benji and the boys are only too happy to pose for photos and duck punches.

Titans

The Titans will crack their first beer at the Titanium Bar. The bar is owned by the club, so the boys will be forced to wait till later before they start trashing everything in sight.

Next stop - Melbas Nightclub, where the trashing will kick off in force. The Titans will sign boobs, backsides and babies after 4pm.

Then Daniel Conn, judged the NRL's premier swordsman, will take the single blokes to Showgirls for a bit of retina action, while trainer Trevor Gillmeister will lead the experienced members of the squad to the more tasteful boiler bar - The Avenue.

Cowboys

The Cowboys start their Mad Monday with the traditional nude sprint down the main street for anyone who hasn't scored a try in 2008. Literally thousands of locals flock to the event. Last year it was "huge" front-rower, Ray Cashmere who did the run and gave hundreds of young Townsville boys inferiority complexes for the rest of their lives.

Catch up with the boys at the Casino, the Mad Cow and after midnight, at the Play Pen nightspot.

Ride 'em Cowboy!

Knights

The boys kick off celebrations at the General Roberts Hotel, before enjoying a novelty afternoon at EnergyAustralia Stadium, where the players will get drunk, get nude and have an experimental game of 11-a-side rugby league. Grapple tackles are welcomed.

From there the Knights go to the Burwood Hotel, where publican Barry Bradley will again take advantage of the boys' state by charging $5 a schooner and serving them six-month-old mornay pies.